"my ass fell out of my ass"

Emma....you have a new patient.....she's in the room waiting for you....

What is her stated complaint?

She says her ass fell out of her ass.

I'm not following you?

Her ass literally fell out of her ass.

Hi there...my name is Emma and i'm going to be your nurse here in the ER. What exactly happened?

I had a baby 2 days ago. I didn't use any medicine, no epidural, nothing. I pushed really hard everything was okay until tonight. I was laying in bed and i felt my ass fall out. It hurts so bad. Its on the outside of my body. I can't move, can't poop. My husband said my butt fell out.



this is what i see:

I call the doc in and we ask the woman to roll over so we can figure out what exactly she is talking about. She rolls over and .....................

brace yourself.........

seriously.......................


............................





........................................you're sure you wanna see this?

no her ass did not fall out of her ass. She has hemmorhoids. Really really large ones that were internal and were pushed out by childbirth.

hemorrhoidsplural of hem·or·rhoid

Noun:

A swollen vein or group of veins in the region of the anus They can be internal and external and can either go away with some cream or can be cut off. Usually a small incision is made and they disappear. NOT in this case! We had to call in a surgeon and prep her for surgery. Poor thing. She was so stressed about the next time she has to poop. I can't even imagine how much that is gonna hurt. Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LIFE LESSSON: think twice about having kids ;) or at least have a c section lol.