couple new cases...

Dx: minor amputation of left pinky
Story: We recieved a transfer from another hospital because the other hospital could not handle the case. The patient worked at the local grocery store and instead of slicing the deli meat he sliced off his pinky finger. He is young, healthy and incredibly upset about the fact that his finger is no longer attached to his hand. Unfortunately he did not bring the missing finger with him :(
What we did: The hand surgeon was called in for a consult and he came in an hour later to look at the patient and make a decision. He came in and immediately wanted to operate. Here's the problem...he wanted to operate here in the ER. I have 5 patients, the ER is full and this surgeon wanted my full and undivided attention. He was requesting sterile equipment only found in the Operating Room, a private room, a quiet place, more lighting....i was beyond frustrated. We eventually moved him over to the pediatric side where it was "a little" quieter and he actually amputated the rest of the guys finger. I could not believe he did it here but he did. The guy was given a mild sedative and some local anesthesia. The doctor cut the rest of his finger off with surgical scissors so the amputation would be smooth and then we sent him on his way. And that was that. One minute you have 5 fingers..the next you have 4. Bummer.

Dx: Right knee dislocation
Story: Pt states my knee always comes out of place and usually i can put it back in but tonight i can't.
I walked in the room to find the patient pacing the room and washing her feet in the sink. I'm thinking to myself...this lady has a dislocated knee? I asked what she was doing and she said "I'm not on drugs you know", i said "ok" and she said " why are you staring at me?", I said "i'm trying to get some information from you". The doctor came in next and the patient began backing up on the bed. She yells " i feel like i'm in jail and being ganged up on". At this point i'm thinking wtf is going on. Her knee is clearly in place and she is clearly high on something......cocaine, spice...i'm praying she doesn't try to eat my face like the guy in miami.  The doctor tells her her knee is fine but we'll do an xray anyway. She then jumps up and screams at me to stop attacking her and runs out of the room....literally. I hear her down the hall, "i'm checking into a nuthouse". And with that....she disappeared. I love the ER.

Dx: Marijuana drug reaction
Story: Pt states he smoked "spice" (the synthetic form of marijuana) and he feels like he's gonna die. Nothing to report. He rested, recovered and went from basically drooling on himself to being rather upfront regarding OUR future together. He felt that he was the one for me. If a 22 year old black drug addict gang member is the "one" i've been searching for all these years...i may as well end my life now. I had my back to him as I charted some information only to turn around and see two flashes. YES...he took two pictures of me. He said "thank you nurse, I will use those later when I masturbate to them." The freakin grossest part...his mom was in the room the whole time and thought the whole scenario was "so cute". I swear to god I don't get paid enough. Needless to say...i got his phone number ;)

Dx: ETOH (alcohol intoxication)
Story: 35 year old male brought in by fire rescue because he was found wandering around the neighborhood trying to enter other peoples houses. He didn't know where he was but the fire fighters found his wallet and belongings in a car nearby with the doors open. He was brought in and we could pretty much hear him before the ambulance doors even opened. He was sitting on the stretcher, legs wide open, shirtless with only tighty whitey's on....dirty whirtey's I should say. A lovely site nonetheless. And by lovely i mean absolutely repulsive. We proceeded to triage him only to listen to him ramble, stick his tongue out at me, and shout "arnold schwartzenegger is in my bag, get him out..he's in there!" I eventually bribed one of the paramedics to put an IV in him and I administered the medicine prescribed to all drunks...a "banana bag". A 1000cc bag of vitamins and minerals used to replenish those lost by drinking gallons and gallons of alcohol. An hour later his two brothers showed up to find out what happened. It was actually pretty entertaining watching his brothers trying to talk to him. They said he never drinks and he probably just went a little wild. The patient kept telling his brothers that he has to go home now cause he's been here for weeks, I ensured them he'd only been here for an hour....his brothers kept laughing at him. Then they made fun of his belly and undies and took him home where they could "whoop his ass". Another class act.

Another night in paradise......
Maybe tomorrow i'll have some actual cool cases not just drunk druggy smelly weirdos.

Until then........
Emma RN